It’s freezing now in New York.
By sheer coincidence, I revisit New York during the coldest and bitter-est (you gotta love bastardizing words that way) winter in years, and of course, during coldest and bitter-est days of the coldest and bitter-est winter. Add that, jet-lag, alcohol, intense sessions and a cold, and it’s a recipe for weird sleeping habits, and worse, weird waking habits (aka waking up at 426am to blog).
The theme of seasons has been occurring to me a couple of times the past few months. Maybe it was triggered off when I went to London last year in fall, and there was a chance that I might’ve moved there, when I started looking at space and time in terms of seasons. Or maybe it was turning 30, and it was a symbolic turning of the seasons in my life. Or maybe I just miss having to freeze my butt off, have different sets of clothing, and less humidity. Either way, it occurred to me that seasons bookmark a person’s life and gives the year some definition. In Singapore, where it’s summer all year around, time passes so slow and yet so fast at the same time. Time is often defined by paycheck collection dates, Chinese New York, or Christmas. And of course, Monsoon season.
It is then that I’ve begun wondering what season of my life I am in, and what changes are a’coming. Nothing worse than to live a staid life without anything passionate about, and yet it seems perfectly normal in Singapore. If Singapore is not (at least the superficial) picture of normal, than what is? You buy a house, a car, get married, work hard from 9-6, have kids, travel up to Malaysia, go on holidays, get old and then ta-da, you’ve lived a perfectly nice and normal life. If you feel like something’s not going right, there’re enough bars, pubs, restaurants, other joints (not of the plant kind, the food and beverage and entertainment kind) to patch up the bullet wound for the moment. Before you know it, it’s time to get back to the desk to knock out the email/report that you needed to get done. That’s the plan, man. Just gotta find out which part of the curve you’re on, and keep at it right?
Right?
I don’t think it’s any different overseas, though. I thought it was, but now I’m beginning to realize that maybe it’s not. The search is within, and as spring goes and summer arrives, the laying of the seeds from season past will lead to fruition of the harvest to come. Who knows what it brings. There is often a sense of foreboding, and it’s been bugging me for the past 6 months. I sound like a fella with arthritis, but I feel a storm gathering.
May 29, 2011 at 10:15 pm |
Mun!
Funny that I saw your comment on my blog just now. I actually have another blog entitled “deathatwork”
haha. But anyway, the point is, I relate.
Was just at my friend’s family’s neighbor’s house (ha) watching their slideshow of their vacation to Switzerland where they sat on a train for 3-days and took pictures at every station. Inside, I couldn’t help but think, I’d rather live in these beautiful little valley towns hidden beneath the mountains and watch the train pass by, not be a tourist sitting outside of that world that’s waiting to be discovered.
I’ve been in SF for 4 years and I’m always tempted to leave (I think I have about a 2-4 year latency period before something (who knows what) happens. It’s an incurable disease it seems, unless God is injected to help me stay on a path that leads towards Him, regardless of what my day-to-day might look like.
Anyway, cheers Mun. I thought of Stuart and Jack today because I realized that not everyone’s ideal world looks like family, kids, car, job, short vacations, etc. I want every day of life to be an adventure, but maybe that is just me (or what my dad calls “Emotional Washout Syndrome.” Haha.