you wanna learn how to win?

Today my dad scored tickets to watch the first ever Formula 1 race held in Singapore. It was another first because it was the first night race ever. It didn’t disappoint, because it was full of drama, and Alonso who started 15th on the grid ended up taking him the trophy.

I am a naturally competitive person, so if I was in Felipe Massa’s shoes, I don’t know if I have the kind of graciousness that he would have. Basically he performed superbly to gain pole position for the race, and held a comfortably massive lead until the pit crew messed up, causing him to fall from 1st to last place in one fell swoop.

http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/racing/f1/news/story?id=3614152

Note to self: Learn to be gracious in defeat

This is water

There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”

This week at work has been filled with its ups and downs and its all arounds. I was shared David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech, which really put things in perspective. It is often in the running around and scrambling and the stress that what’s real and around us is forgotten, and especially even more so often in Singapore, where work and life blur, and where coming up with something innovative in the office elicits responses like “so much free time?”

I was at dinner and drinks with a bunch of different people yesterday. JT is an art student pursuing his masters, and through him I know C and R. Both of them are in their 30s and have been working for more than 10 years. C is in advertising and R is a teacher and it was just immensely fascinating talking and learning and laughing with them. We were loud but we didn’t care. There was this one point though that R was telling me that I was suited for the job that I do because I have a face that’s smiling all the time, and his face basically has a big f-off look to it (I’m sure you know some people with that face. Once the smile cracks open is another story). I sort of blurted it out sub-consciously because I didn’t realize it verbally before, but I said, “Well I look so happy because I try to work like I am going to leave tomorrow.”

And then there was a sort of collective silence as that dawned upon us all.

Maybe this applies to other aspects in life as well.

The Mist

I heard that The Mist was a pretty decent movie, so after two beers last Thursday, I decided to pick it up at the local DVD store. I rarely watch scary movies because I want to say that it’s because my imagination still takes a hold of me long after the movie is over, but really I find it quite pointless to watch mindless blood and gore without any actual story. Something like how men usually don’t watch romantic comedies, and women don’t usually watch the 28475th version of Rambo.

The basic proposition of the movie is that a strange mist envelopes a small town community after a terrible storm. The movie takes place in the local supermarket, where people are stocking up goods because of the weather. As the mist slowly gathers, the storefolk see someone running and yelling. He is bleeding and he’s frantically telling everyone that there’s something in the mist. And so the story begins.

Everyone is gripped by fear. They barricade the doors as the mist completely covers the supermarket. As you can guess, fear and pandemonium ensue, as the uncertainty of what is without threatens to unravel the fabric of the community within. And it does. Marcia Gay Harden is particularly amazing in her role as an extreme Christian that believes it’s the end of the world, and further fuels the fears of people thus gaining her a cult group of followers.

I won’t spoil the movie for anyone reading this because I think it’s a pretty decent movie, but this movie did get me thinking about the idea of fear. I noticed the caption on the movie poster after I watched it, and it was “Fear Changes Everything”, which I thought deliciously captured the idea of the unknown and how people react to it. In times of extreme fear and uncertainty, people cling to whatever/whoever offers them hope, and it is quite interesting how society or social nuances degenerate when things go wrong. Well, and when people start dying. What is most interesting is how the mist outside served as a parallel to the mist in people’s heads, and how quickly we abandon independent thought for a mob mentality.

By Rumi

 

Love is reckless; not reason.

Reason seeks a profit.

Love comes on strong,

consuming herself, unabashed.

 

Yet, in the midst of suffering,

Love proceeds like a millstone,

hard surfaced and straightforward.

 

Having died of self-interest,

she risks everything and asks for nothing.

Love gambles away every gift God bestows.

 

Without cause God gave us Being;

without cause, give it back again.

here and now

I am not going to write a review on The Time Traveller’s Wife. I’m sure many, many have been written already, as many friends have told me so many times about the book that when I told a few that I was reading this book, the same reply came, “I told it was good, right?” I’m not sure who or whom or where or when claims credit, although it was S who lent me her book (though I might never return it to her, we shall see).

I don’t know how else to describe the book except that I am strangely moved. Not that the love story is strange such that my moved-ness is strange, rather that I have not felt my feelings stirred in a long time through reading a book. It is a strange sensation now, because my heart feels real, like it’s been through a real emotional smogasboard, such that every breath is deep and you can feel your heart beating for real each time it does. The wax and wane of emotion of the story brings the breadth of feeling that I have not felt in a long time, and it is lovely.

“Here and now” is a common phrase that arches through the entire book. (It is a phrase that is close to me, because it is the website for Northwestern University students. It’s slightly different in the book though.) For a man that is out of Time that just wants to be in the present, here and now is a gift. Too often we stretch out our right hand as far to the future as we can, only to try to cling with our left hand on as much of the past as possible. I don’t know about you, but I’m struck about “here and now” by the book. It’s been half an hour since I finished the last page of the book. I made a phone call, took another call, went through 3 SMSes and even took a shower, and still, the feeling lingers. Time seems to have slowed down.

A love story. Deep as it is wide. Yearning as it is lingering. Rested and restless. I reread the last few pages and realize that it is such deep love that draws me in and envelopes me. It is like the familiar scent of your clothes at home after being gone for months/years. Ah yes, it is the feeling of being able to feel again. I had forgotten for so long already.