off to bed to soothe the frayed nerves

listening to: Southland in the Springtime by Indigo Girls

just another sunday night

It’s getting late. And as I prepare to ease my body beneath the blankets, in preparation for the turmoil and what-not that might ensue tomorrow, I am reminded of this moment of clarity that I got this week. Moments of clarity, in any shape or form, are very precious to me, because of the nature of the life in the grown-up world. People can spend years going through a routine only to find out that they actually are still deeply in love with Mildred, have been working so hard because they actually really hate their existence, and have lost their second last chance at redemption because they have got a terminal illness, and thus only have this one last shot to go for broke and shoot for glory. It’s highly romanticized but if you think about it, you never ever really want to leave these kinds of things to chance because as much of a clutch shooter you can be, sometimes it’s Sunday, and as you know, the Postman don’t deliver.

Anyhow, the moment came on Thursday. At least I think it was a Thursday. It was raining, that much I am sure of. I was looking outside and thinking about my life and all that stuff, when I realized that my job should be a means to an end. I’m not going to even remotely try to go near the subject on job satisfaction blahblahblah because if that’s an end that you need to get to, then find a job that provides that for you. I mentally came up with a list of things that were important to me (being able to continue to relate and meet up with friends, having time to go home for dinner etc), and realized that the job allowed me to do those things, and the fringe benefit was that I got paid doing what I do too! Well, it’s not so fringe but it does clear the important things in life for me. In hurried and sullied Singapore, it is easy to fall into the cracks of propoganda that tell you that you need to get an MBA, upgrade your skills, serve your nation, put in more hours, eat your vegetables, become more productive and not pee in the lifts. The extension of the nation as an employer is insiduous and frightening at times, especially when every person is a worker, and growth of our domestic product is our defining metric.

Ou government has always given the sort of threat that a parent gives to their child – “You don’t want to eat your vegetables, right? Look at that man over there with all the tattoos and sitting on the floor, begging. That’s what you will be like if you don’t eat your veggies now“. And it’s no wonder that this fear drives us ahead. I just hope, as individuals, we don’t hit our targets only to find we were aiming wrongly.

Why I Stop Reading The East-bashing Western Media

The media these days work a little like consulting firms – form a hypothesis, get the information, and string the meat around the bones to come up with a credible story. Rarely do you find something that goes against a somewhat mainstream grain, which strangely enough, is expected since most newspapers are controlled by huge-ass conglomerates.

In this case, the hypothesis is something like:-

Hypothesis: China exploits people
Information: Ah ha! See that girl that sings a patriotic song, she’s lip-synching! She’s cheating us, especially when the real person singing is nowhere as presentable as she is!
Meat-around-the-bones: Apparently they say she’s not good enough, and so someone else has to do the work for her. Such exploitation must only mean a perfectionist China is exploiting it’s people. Tsk tsk.

I’d hate to do an “ah-ha!”, but well, I get annoyed when there’s the obvious plank in someone else’s eye.

 http://news.asiaone.com/News/Latest%2BNews/Asia/Story/A1Story20080828-84799.html

another reason to add why i love going to japan, but not living there.

reason

Travels

So I managed to get on an earlier flight back to Singapore. It has been a whirlwind travelling experience, going to two different countries and just running around from place to place. T was amazing for it’s culture and order, and it struck me so often how society dictates a certain form of compliance or “mainstream” ideology, but somehow or other, individuals still crave and yearn for the their own voice. Which is what I believe is part of how so much creativity and inspiration come from their work. The insular nature of their country means that when a sub-culture of their own is formed, it is borne out of their own reality which very often is not influenced (or to very little effect) by the world outside (read: Western influences). And when the world finally catches up and looks upon it, it dazzles because we have never thought of things that way.

China is just mad. 1.3 billion people in total. Burgeorning cities with more and more people entering them. The Olympics being held then. It was just mad. It was also my first time in Beijing.

Many of the taxi drivers I spoke to there lamented about how China was giving up their history by tearing down so many of their more traditional buildings/houses for shopping malls, offices and new houses. It made me a little sad that it was true for Beijing, but I think if China wants to continue to grow bigger, such tradition can be kept in the suburbs or more rural areas for the sake of development. It is a pity, but the real question is would you keep a country from moving forward just because of certain aesthetics? And we’re not talking about tearing down these buildings because they look old. I’m talking about replacing them because there isn’t even decent drainage and sewerage in them, in the heart of the city. People still shit into holes and carry the stuff away in buckets. Sounds a little hardcore? That’s reality for them though.

Coming back, I always get a feeling of displacement. The feeling of “Where am I, and what am I doing back in Singapore?” always gets to me on the plane ride back. The idea of home and space has changed a lot for me over the years, and I wonder, I just wonder, if I am happy where I am now or if I am just getting by with a little help from my friends.